Simon the Girl Magnet
by pancham 98
Summary: Welcome to my 10th fanfic. In my take on the classic Alvin episode, "The New and Improved Simon", Alvin tries to give Simon a new look. Simon, obviously, doesn't want to change. What would convince Alvin that what he's doing is wrong?
1. The New Simon

August 2nd, 1984

11:30 A.M.

"Alvin here introducing you to the new improved Simon!"  
"Alvin," said Simon, embarrassed. "Don't!"  
Alvin turns the camera over to Simon who is wearing a headband, a bandana around his neck,  
a punk denim jacket, teared jeans, and biker boots and gloves. Simon, is not impressed by  
his new look.  
"Alvin," said Simon, turning red. "This is humiliating. Stop the camera, please!"  
"No way!" said Alvin. "Everyone needs to see how attractive you are."  
Simon blushes furiously.  
"Now, strut your stuff, Simon. Theodore, cue music!"  
"Right, Alvin!" said Theodore, turning on the radio. Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) plays  
out loud.

"Why aren't you strutting? STRUT!" Alvin whispered out loud.  
Simon groans and tries to walk the walk.  
*Macho, Macho Man!* sang Theodore. *You gotta be A MACHO MAN! HEY!*  
Simon growls a little. He's never been humiliated like this.  
"Now give us a 'Hey, hot stuff!'" said Alvin.  
"I'm not going to say that!" said Simon, angrily.  
"Come on, lover boy," said Alvin, teasingly.  
Simon sighs. "Hey, hot stuff!"  
"Yeah, that's right!" said Alvin. "Give out the love!"

"Okay, ENOUGH!" Simon yelled, stomping over to Alvin. He turns off the video camera on  
Alvin.  
"If you show this video to ANYBODY, I'll sue you," he said.  
"Lighten up, Simon," said Alvin. "You need to look like a sexy hunk."  
"Aren't my glasses sexy enough?" Simon asked.  
"Uhhh..." Alvin got speechless on that.  
"I thought so," said Simon, walking away.

"I think you hurt his feelings, Alvin," said Theodore.  
"Come on," said Alvin. "I just want Simon to be cool."  
"I think he should just be himself," said Theodore.  
"That's boring!" said Alvin. "He'll thank me later."

**Alvin, obviously, doesn't know what it means to be yourself. When will he learn? Hopefully next chapter. Stay tuned!**


	2. Simon's New Style

Simon stomps to his room and looks in the mirror. He's still in  
that get up Alvin put him in. He huffs.  
"Stupid Alvin," he said. "This is not me!"  
Then, Theodore comes into the room. "You okay, Simon?"  
Simon sighs and takes off his round, blue glasses. "Be honest, Teddy.  
Am I sexy?"  
"Uh... You mean cute?" asked Theodore, not knowing what that word  
meant.  
"Yeah," said Simon. "Am I?"  
"With those glasses, yeah," Theodore said with a smile. "And Alvin  
looks awesome in a red ball cap."  
"We're talking about me, Theodore," said Simon, sitting down on his  
bed. "Thanks to Alvin, I'm not sure if I am good looking anymore."

"Aww, cheer up, Simon," said Theodore. "You're good just as you are."  
Simon smiled a little.  
"Hey," said Ted. "I got an idea. Why don't you prove to Alvin that you  
can be cool and handsome at the same time in your own way?"  
"How can I do that?" asked Simon.  
Theodore whispers in Simon's ear, telling him what to do.

6:25 P.M.

"Okay, dinner fellas!" Dave called out.  
Alvin comes downstairs and sits at the table.  
"Yes!" he said. "Green bean cassarole! My favorite!"  
"I thought you hated vegetables, Alvin," said Theodore, coming in.  
"You crazy?" said Alvin. "They're tasty! I'm just allergic to tomatoes  
if that's what you're thinking."  
"Ah," said Theodore, nodding.

"Okay, ready!" Simon called out.  
"Right," said Theodore. "Gentlemen, presenting the immortal Simon  
Seville!"  
Simon comes downstairs. He's wearing a fedora and a suit and tie. He's  
not wearing glasses, he's wearing contacts.  
"Simon!?" Alvin reacted.  
"Well," said Simon, sitting next to Alvin. "How do I look?"  
"I... uh... you look different!"  
"Well, you wanted me to change, right?" Simon said with a smirk.  
"Not like this!" Alvin said.  
"Calm down, Alvin," said Dave. "Eat up your dinner before it gets cold."  
"Oh, alright, Dave," said Alvin as he eats one of his favorites.

August 3rd, 1984

Noon

The next day, the Chipmunks and Chipettes go swimming at the public pool.  
"Where's Simon?" asked Alvin.  
"Don't know," said Brittany.  
"He's changed a lot yesterday."  
"Didn't you want him to change?"  
"It's not like that!"

"Ladies and gentleman," announced Theodore. "I give you Simon Seville!"  
Simon comes out, wearing sunglasses and a blue speedo.  
"SIMON!?" everyone else reacted.  
"Oh my!" said Jeanette, shocked. "What happened to you?"  
Simon struts to the group. "Don't ask me," he said, lowering his shades. "Ask Alvin."  
Alvin blushed. "Me?"  
"You wanted me to change, right?"  
"Ugh!" said Alvin. "This is turning into a nightmare."


	3. Strange Magic

August 4th, 1984

Noon

Alvin and the Chipettes were hanging out in the playground with their  
friends Link, Mike, Austin and Nancy.  
"Hey, Alvin," said Mike. "Where's Simon?"  
"Who cares?" Alvin said with a sad sigh.  
"Huh?" said Nancy. "Why do you say that?"  
"Simon hasn't been himself lately," said Alvin.  
"Is he sick?" asked Link.  
"Well..."

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Theodore announced. "Behold the new  
heartthrob!"  
Then, Simon enters the playground, wearing a tux with a rose in the  
pocket. He's also wearing his fedora. And he's still got contacts.  
"Who is that?" asked Austin.  
Simon lowers his hat and puts on a sexy smile.  
"Seville," he said in a British accent. "Simon Seville."  
"SIMON!?" the kids reacted.  
"Wow," said Nancy. "You're more good looking than Alvin."  
"HEY!" yelled Alvin. "No he isn't! He's stealing my spotlight!"  
"Now, now, Alvin," said Simon. "Let's not start a scene. After  
all, you wanted me to be more attractive."  
"Not like this!" said Alvin. "This is too much!"  
"Alvin," said Brittany. "Calm down. Play along."  
Alvin sighed. "Okay, okay."

"Isn't he gorgeous, ladies?" said Theodore.  
"Uh-huh," said Nancy and Brittany.  
Alvin glared at Brittany.  
"Wait till you hear him sing," said Theodore. "Care to sing, Simon?"  
"Why not?" said Simon.  
"Oh no..." said Alvin.

Strange Magic  
originally performed by ELO

Simon: You're sailing softly through the sun,  
In a broken stone age dawn  
You fly so high

I get a strange magic  
Oh, what a strange magic  
Oh, what a strange magic  
Got a strange magic  
Got a strange magic

"Okay, that is it!" said Alvin. "I can sing better than you, Simon!"

Alvin: You're walking meadows in my mind  
Making waves across my time  
Oh no, oh no

I get a strange magic  
Oh, what a strange magic  
Oh, what a strange magic  
Got a strange magic  
Got a strange magic

"Enough!" said Theodore. "I think we've had enough jealousy  
today. Let's go, Simon."  
"Take your strange magic with ya!" Alvin said to Simon.  
Simon glared at Alvin a little.  
"Wow," said Mike. "Simon sure had class."  
"Yeah," said Nancy. "So dreamy."  
"Grrr! Everybody, breathe through your nose!" yelled Alvin.  
"'Breathe through your nose'?" asked Link. "What do you mean?"  
"Just shut up!" said Alvin, leaving the park.

1:15 P.M.

"My gosh," said Alvin, entering his room. "Simon is being such a  
pain!" He flops to his bed.  
Then, Simon comes into the room. "You okay, Alvin?" he asked in  
his normal accent.  
"Go away, Simon! I'm tired of you being a heartthrob."  
"Alvin," said Simon, sitting next to him. "I'm doing this to you  
to prove a point and nothing more to that."  
"You know, Simon," said Alvin. "You're right, and I'm wrong. I shouldn't  
have changed you. You were better normal."  
Simon blushed. "Told you I was."  
"By the way," said Alvin. "I'm not used to seeing you without  
your glasses."  
"To be honest, I look kinda cool without my glasses," said Simon.  
"But you're right. It's not me without them. You know what? Maybe  
I'll wear my contacts once a month. Just for the heck of it."  
"Okay," said Alvin. "If you wanna."

Then, Theodore comes in.  
"Now that's what I like to see," he said. "Alvin and Simon getting along."  
"Yeah, it brings us joy to get along so well," said Simon.  
"Amen," said Alvin.

"By the way, am I good looking, too?" asked Theodore.  
"Are you kidding?" said Alvin. "You're adorable, of course you're good looking."  
"Aww, thank you, Alvin," said Theodore.

"So, now what?" asked Alvin.  
"How about a game of Monopoly?" asked Theodore.  
"Okay," said Alvin. "I call the racing car."  
"I'll have the hat," said Theodore.  
"I guess I'll take the puppy dog," said Simon.  
"Hey, Dave!" called Alvin. "Wanna play some Monopoly?"  
"Sure, gimme a sec," said Dave.

**Tune in next time for a Monopoly challenge with Alvin.**


	4. Monopoly and Alvin's Cap

"Yes!" shouted Theodore as he lands on Free Parking while playing Monopoly with his brothers and Dave.  
He collects the hundreds of Monopoly money in the center of the game board. Everyone else playfully  
groans.  
"No fair!" said Alvin. "How come you're the pro at Monopoly, Ted?"  
"Hehe! Face it, Alvin," said Theodore. "I may be the little one, but I know my Monopoly skills.  
In other words: Hand me your money!"  
Simon, still wearing the outfit he wore at the playground, couldn't help but laugh at Theodore's remark.  
"Alright, Theodore," said Dave. "That's enough gloating."  
"Okay, Dave," said Theodore, blushing.  
"Good thing we're not playing for real money," said Alvin, rolling the dice.  
"Yeah," said Simon, fixing his glasses. "Or else we'd be gambling. We don't do that."

Alvin rolls a six. That brings him to, uh-oh! Go to Jail space!  
"Ooh!" said Simon, teasingly. "Someone has to stay back for detention!"  
Alvin frowns at Simon for that joke. "Not funny! And just because I get detention  
a lot, doesn't make me a bad munk."  
Alvin parks his racing car piece into the Jail space.

Dave goes next. He rolls the dice and lands on...  
"No! Not Luxuray Tax!" Dave reacted.  
Alvin bursted out laughing because now Dave got unlucky.  
Dave scowls at Alvin. "Go ahead and laugh, Alvin," he said. "Just wait till I ground you  
for being a sore loser."  
"Oh yeah?" Alvin retorted.  
"Alvin, he's joking," said Simon. "Except for the grounding part. But still, he's joking. Lighten up."  
Alvin sighs. "Fine."

Simon goes next. If you're wondering how he's doing, Simon's making 50/50 progress on winning some  
or losing some.  
He roles an eight. That puts him on Electric Company.  
"I own it," he said as he hands the dice to Theodore.

"Alright, give Teddy some boxcars!"  
Just his luck! Theodore rolled a twelve! That brings him to GO.  
"Gimme that $200!" he said to Alvin, the banker.  
"Alright, alright," Alvin said with a chuckle. "You're not cheating are you?"  
"No way! I never cheat at games," said Theodore, taking the money.

"So," said Dave to Alvin and Simon. "You two good now?"  
"Yeah," said Alvin. "Boy was I wrong about changing someone's image. I guess it's a lesson well learned."  
"Be yourself, right?" said Simon.  
"Yep," said Alvin. "As much as I hate to admit it, you look great in that outfit. Even the speedo you wore yesterday."  
Simon blushed. "That speedo wasn't very comfortable."  
"More than I needed to know, Simon," said Alvin. "By the way, how do you do that James Bond accent?"  
"Which one? I have two 007 accents: Sean Connery and Roger Moore."  
"Wow!" Alvin reacted. "Uh, the one you used today."  
"That would be my Sean Connery. It may not be easy to learn accents, Alvin. Were you jealous?"  
"A little."  
Simon hugs Alvin. "Accents don't matter, Alvin. Neither do looks. Did I mention that you're good looking, too?"  
Alvin blushed. "You're joking."  
"No, I'm serious," said Simon. "That cap on your head, iconic image. The big yellow A on that red shirt,  
a work of art. And those eyes-"  
"Okay, okay!" said Alvin. "I get it. Thanks, Simon. Do you really think my cap is awesome?"  
"I love it," said Theodore.  
"I gave that cap to you for a reason," said Dave.  
"Well, it's the best one I ever got," said Alvin.

August 6th, 1984

Today, Simon was wearing his tux and fedora, no glasses. With him is Alvin. They're at the park,  
reading books. Alvin, being a horror addict, is reading a Stephen King book. Simon is reading  
"Gone With the Wind" by Margret Mitchell. Alvin sees the book Simon's reading.  
"Wasn't that a movie?" asked Alvin.  
"Yes," said Simon. "GWTW was published in 1936. Three years later, it was made into a sucessful movie."  
"I haven't seen the movie," said Alvin. "But I'd love to see it. Don't give away the ending."  
"I won't," Simon said with a smile. "I won't be like that kid who spoiled 'Charlotte's Web' on you."  
"Dennis Franco..." said Alvin, frowning. "The story was getting good until he told me Charlotte dies. Grr! The nerve!"  
"Okay," Simon said, feeling guilty. "I guess I brought up a bad memory."

Theodore and Eleanor come upon the two brothers with ice cream.  
"Here, Alvin," said Theodore, handing him ice cream. "Mint chocolate chip."  
"Thanks, Ted," said Alvin.  
"And here you go, Simon. Strawberry Swirl."  
"Thanks."  
Ted and Ellie sit with Alvin and Simon.  
"So," said Eleanor. "I'm joining the swim team this year."  
"Hey," said Alvin. "That's great."  
"My Ellie is really athletic," said Theodore, with love in his eyes.  
"I know," said Alvin. "I've seen her trophies at the Chipettes' house. Speaking of, how's Miss Miller  
doing?"  
"She's great," said Eleanor. "She's a great cook, she's very caring, and she has a great sense of humor."  
"I like her, too," Alvin said with a smile. "She's nice."  
"Yes, she is," said Simon.  
"Agreed," said Theodore.

"Alvin! There you are!"  
Brittany comes up to Alvin, out of breath.  
"Hey, Brittany," said Alvin. "What's wrong?"  
"Fashion disaster!" said Brittany.  
"Again?" everyone else reacted.  
"Hey!" said Brittany, frowning. "I quote Tammy Wynette: 'Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.'  
This is one of those times, okay?"  
"Okay, okay!" said Alvin. "What's the 'fashion disaster'?"  
"Well, I can't find anything to wear for our concert  
in two days. Not one outfit looks right for me!"  
"Want me to help?" asked Theodore. "I got enough allowance to take you  
clothes shopping."  
"No thanks, Theodore," said Brittany. "Keep your money. I want Alvin to help. He knows about these  
things."  
"Not all about them, but most of them," said Alvin. "I'll help, but I think Simon should help, too."  
"How come?" asked Simon.  
"Because you have a new taste in fashion this week," said Alvin. "I'll pay you if you'll pitch in."  
"Okay, I'll help," said Simon. "But don't pay me. I can save up my own money, thanks."


End file.
